I hope everyone has had a great week; more importantly I hope it was much better than mine. This week kicked my butt big time. Every time I tried to accomplish something there appeared this wall of interruption, I believe most people refer to it as life, that just inserted itself into my plans. Oh plans! I can’t believe I still make those. It’s comical really. You can lay out your life step by step, apply long term and short-term modifications, eat all your vegetables and still fail. Everyone knows this. It’s not a secret. If inevitable failures were a secret there wouldn’t be all these top charting songs encouraging us to keep going. To be honest I thought the real secret was that everyone (namely your parents) let you enter adulthood knowing it was a trap. I’ve found myself wondering why I ever left home if everything wasn’t going to calculate to a simple math problem: school plus hard work equals success. There is so much missing from that formula that no one tells you about.
I suppose the whole process of growing up is learning to reach for those additional tools that will really take you into success (whatever your idea of success may be). I find, maybe now more than ever, a multitude of people offering you these tools. And I don’t mean giving you advice from one successful person to an up starter. I mean there are people capitalizing on having the means to get you to your dreams. Now that’s always been the case. I just find that in the social media space it’s done completely without discretion; like it’s a firm selling point for a lot of entrepreneurs. And I find this approach to be the alternative to someone simply telling you “you have to keep going”. These people are willing to take the steps with you. I mean you have to pay for the steps but it is an investment in yourself.
For those of us who are still just finding our way and can’t quite commit to a financial sacrifice, how do we still take those steps? For me I’m finding a few things that help include:
- Being kind to myself. Believe me holding on to guilt and dwelling on failure really doesn’t serve you or your purpose. Also, everyone’s path is very different; try not to compare yourself (almost impossible) and burden yourself with unattainable societal and personal expectations. If it is for you, you can have it in your due season. Be patient and take care of yourself.
- Remaining consistent with everything always if you want to see real change. If you want to go to the gym just to work out on the treadmill you better give it your all and become the best treadmill walker that ever lived! Also this consistency and keeping busy lifestyle really helps to distract some of us from the madness unfolding around us that we can’t control.
- If I’m having a bad day/week I sink into it (not too deep) and have that rant, eat that slice of pizza, miss that yoga class, seclude myself if necessary, take a long bath, take an even longer nap, then BRUSH MYSELF OFF AND REFOCUS. Don’t stay in the sunken place.
- Continue to make plans and goal orient your purpose. I know, I know. Why, right? But I find that if I don’t make plans then I get really lost. How am I going to get what I want? Where am I going? What am I doing? What do I want for myself and how I am going to structure the means to get it? Setting goals helps me answer these questions; and often these goals are really just planting a seed and waiting for it to grow.
- I dismiss the idea of time around milestones. If I’m being honest I’m still working on this but driving yourself based on where you think you should be by a certain age/stage in life will actually drive you mad. Again, everyone’s path is different. You want to achieve those milestones, but you want to kind of blur the lines of time surrounding them. If you are doing the work then you will get there. Suzie may get there before you, but you will get there sis. However, I do believe there are things you should stop at a certain age. I have a weird relationship with Father Time. I understand that my views will change on this as I get older and that’s the beauty of the relationship we all have with time: it brings change
- Cultivate a village. Consisting of any amount (probably one or two) of very close, positive, supportive confidants. This is probably the number one thing I could not make it through a tough week without. I mean you can go it alone but why would you want to do that?
- And lastly I want to just say that for the people who are not where they want to be yet it is extremely hard to see the light and take the people who have made it seriously when they tell you the light is there…at the end…somewhere where they have managed to find it for themselves. We think because they are already successful they can’t imagine what it must be like to finance your real life AND your dreams. Two things most of us can’t do at once. We all have children, bills, obligations, school loans, a partner to consider, debt, and an unsecure future. We all can’t ‘chase’ the dream. So the last thing that I find that has been helpful for me is to fraction my goals (here we go again math). I try to look at and work towards the tiniest possible goal that will take me to the midsize goal that will take me to the big one that will take me to success. It seems insurmountable to think you can go from your current position in life, often VERY far from where you wish you could be, to the next stage in your life living out your dream. Some of us can’t take that big of a leap but we all should be able to push ourselves to get started. Often that start is really small and manageable like networking or selling your first pair of shoes on Poshmark and then eventually garnering a customer base that then turns into your small business. You never know! You want to just get moving, speak your dreams into being and add a pinch of faith on everything you do.
In the next few weeks as I extend my radius and travel further and further away from PA I hope that serves as an example of ‘starting somewhere.’ I am in no way, shape or form a person that you should actually take advice from (because who am I seriously, literally nobody) but I live in the real world with you and I find that many of us experience the same things and it should be okay to share those things so we can all get cozy and settle into this thing here they call life.