Your Self 2019 (Things I’m Changing For A Better Me)

Hi everyone! I hope your weekend was relaxing and productive and I hope your week is off to a great start. My vacation itch is really kicking in full gear now, and I don’t know about you guys but I am generally not a Monday person, not in the least. Actually Monday may be my one true enemy. So these last few weeks have been a bit tough trying to balance my exhaustion and general Monday disdain. But, I have been working a lot this year on the person I say I want to be, and that person can’t let Mondays and an overdue week of r&r ruin her peace of mind.

Defeating Mondays is the latest addition to the “your self” project (I’m sure I’ll come up with a better name later but I’m saying your ‘self’ as in who you are and taking possession of that). At the end of this ‘project’ I should burst out of my 2019 cocoon as a brand new Hannah (I’m also trying optimism so bear with me). I only made a list of these things so I can document the exact day I grew up (lol) and the trajectory to it. Maybe I can teach my unborn children something one day. I won’t make these sections too long since the list itself is quite lengthy. Here we go!

Things I Reconcile With Concerning Myself

PATIENCE

This probably goes without saying but patience is so necessary in just about every aspect of this life and it’s on my list because I simply have not been practicing it.

CONFIDENCE

I’ve learned so much in the last few years, mostly from some amazing women who make the internet a better place. But I still have a long way to go in this confidence journey. My husband often mentions to me while taking my pictures that he can read my discomfort with myself in my body language. He’s right. That discomfort definitely exists and other people can sense it, especially if it’s as dense as mine. Let’s just say it’s complicated work needing constant refinement and kindness to yourself.

CONSISTENCY

In everything sis. Periodt.

DIRECTNESS

I’m naturally direct, but mostly when I’m angry and have had enough. Now I’m trying to be diplomatically direct so I avoid putting myself and other people in situations where I (or they) have to be angry first before we can hash things out. I think its best to approach the person, or problem head on rather than avoiding issues and letting it fester (ya know, like a grown up!).

PLANNING AND IMPLEMENTING

Set goals and work towards them. Or else, what are you doing (serious question)?

SELF CARE

I am on my way to removing the term self-care from my vocab VERY soon (because its so overused)! But! I mentioned it here only to note that I saw a great post on Instagram about self-care being more than just bath bombs and good body lotion and that really resonated with me. Its about your peace of mind, your health, your privacy, your mental wellness, your circle, your skin, your time, your spiritual wellbeing, its youuuuuuu.

EXERCISE

I don’t know if I’ll ever love exercise you guys but its extremely valuable. Blah blah, everything you’ve already heard is true unfortunately. So annoying. But do it.

DEFEATING MONDAYS/POSITIVITY

The root cause of my war with Mondays stem from my intense negativity. Plain and simple I begin the week thinking bad thoughts, complaining, building frustration from 10pm on Sunday (or Smonday by this point) and it all manifests into bad Mondays and a generally stressful week. It’s been years of the same endless cycle and I’ve decided that while I’m not exactly where I want to be in life (and since our versions of happiness always changes will we ever be?) I decided the best way to affect my Mondays is to completely change my outlook. That started with thinking more positively, starting my days with gratitude and thankfulness, shutting down negative thoughts and accepting the things I cannot change. To be honest I started taking this seriously when I came across a few posts from Diddy after he lost the mother of his children, Kim Porter. He’s always seemed like a positive person but the way he has handled her passing by staying positive for his children, owning his mistakes, grieving openly, accepting the things he cannot change, and blocking negativity while injecting love in his life has been a real eye opener. To see someone cope openly and realize that its possible to change your situation by the way you think and by the energy you let into your space has really caused me to rethink some things. I’ve also noticed a lot of influential people discussing utilizing positive thoughts as one of their most powerful tools on the road to success.

TAKING ACTION (DESPITE FAILURES)

I think one of the hardest things to do is to keep working without seeing results. I think most of us enjoy immediate gratification but now that we’re (mostly) grown up we know that’s not how the world works. You can have your head down plowing away at your dream for years before something manifests. Have faith and keep taking action even with the let downs and even when it seems there is no progress.

Things I Reconcile With Concerning Other People

WALKING AWAY

I walked away from so many things last year. I think we all eventually do this when enough is enough. It’s a big part of the positivity journey to step away from the things and people that don’t serve your peace.

LETTING PEOPLE KNOW HOW I WANT TO BE TREATED

Self-explanatory, right?

HUMILITY

I never want to lose this. Seriously. If I do I hope someone smacks me and reminds me where I came from and that I could be right back there at any moment.

TREATING OTHER PEOPLE HOW I WANT TO BE TREATED

I didn’t do much of this in my early 20’s and I kept complaining how all I had was shitty friends. But I WAS a shitty friend!

BEING A REAL FRIEND

This brings us to something that was at the top of my list for 2019. I don’t feel that you can attract good people without yourself being a good person. Treat people well, be reliant, be a confidant, encourage, support, give your time. It will actually make you feel good and it will make some relationships emerge that you didn’t know were possible and that make your life feel really full.

ACCEPTANCE

My relationship with expectations has led to a lot of crushing disappointments. If there is one thing I could tell my younger self it would be to not expect anything of anyone or any situation and it’ll make you so much happier. Honestly, if we let ourselves down so often how can we expect so much of others? Moving forward I want to learn to accept people for who they are and accept situations for what they are.

COMPARISONS

Hard not to do when you are on the internet all the time, but EXTREMELY unhealthy.

LET YOUR FRIENDS HAVE THEIR JOURNEY

Stop telling people what to do and stop stressing yourself over their lives. There is a way to support someone without trying to live their lives for them. Its hard if you love them but they have to make their mistakes like you did.

LEARN FROM OTHER PEOPLE (SUCCESSFUL OR NOT)

So many examples. So not necessary to reinvent the wheel sometimes. If you have someone that inspires you, let them light your way. It can really push you to read success differently.

I hope some of this was insightful. Let me know in the comments if you guys have similar plans for yourself this year or better yet, if you’ve already grown up! I would love the road map to adulthood 🙂

Wearing super old dress from Old Navy