What I've Been Doing In Quarantine

In short, absolutely nothing. But that wouldn’t make for a fruitful blog post.

Kudos to you all who have made a smooth, Instagram worthy transition to self-quarantine and have made social distancing a top trending hashtag. Y’all are the real MVP’s.

For the rest of us, social distancing is a little layered, even including screen time so we can step away (mentally and physically) and process what is happening to our families and the world as we know it. I am very confident that we’ll get through this. But its evident at this point that it will be a tough road involving devastatingly high mortality and a near collapse of a good fraction of the world’s medical systems. Essentially, there will be ripples of consequences across all sectors of our lives, and some of those tremors will be felt for years.

I have been working from home for a few months, usually only leaving the house to attend classes, go to the gym, see my mom, etc. So I’m usually out of the house every day but the bulk of my day is spent in my home. Therefore, the measures put in place to manage the spread of coronavirus hasn’t caused a momentous shift in my life like it has for some people, but the disruption to my routine has caused a bit of a depressive spiral. Some of us can’t roll with the punches—for some people sudden change, be it minuscule or significant, can send us into a tailspin. Moreover, witnessing devastation in the world (from several things including the spread of coronavirus), even if it doesn’t impact you in a major way, can still stir feelings of hopelessness and dread.

I consider myself extremely privileged in this situation. I can still work from home and earn an income; I am safe in my home until “the purge” begins (jk…but you know you thought about it and if you didn’t until now…I’m sorry); my husband and I haven’t contracted the virus even though he continues to work outside the home every day. We are very fortunate in an unfortunate situation. So I surely won’t complain, but its important to acknowledge that some of us aren’t motivated during this time to be uber productive, make tik tok videos, work out for several hours a day and write the next great American novel. For some of us coping looks very different.

I feel like social media can be so exclusionary, but we already know this right? If you aren’t apart of this conversation or that movement or this challenge then you belong to some dark hole on the web or off of social media entirely. And its arguably becoming increasingly like that in the world at large. You must keep your unfavorable, contrary opinions to yourself because this is the mainstream conversation and if you are not a part of that then please go hide in the shadows. And in these shadows is the breeding ground for all types of things (if you know what I mean).

I guess that’s why they say “find your people”; because even in this situation it’s starting to feel like you can be excluded just because the tik tok video wave isn’t for you. Fam. I swear some days I open my app and it takes about 10 seconds before I get mentally weary. It feels like the internet version of being chased in the department store by the perfume lady. I’m just sprayed with the memes, the jokes, the positivity…please get your positive ass out of my face. I need a MINUTE.

If we want to practice social distancing but connect more online then it would be nice to see some inclusivity of how people are coping and what we could do to help each other and our medical personnel. Or like my friend says, I’ve just found myself in the wrong hole. I need to make friends with the emo kids in the lunchroom. Of course, I enjoy the people I follow and engage with online, but sometimes depending on the circumstances, you may just need to find other people. The same folks who are your fall fashion people may not be your pandemic people. I digress.

There’s been numerous comments made about how this crisis is being handled. Apparently, we’re going to “finally see who people really are”. And granted there have been some huge revelations and disappointments stemming from all the way at the top (the federal government) to the bottom (our employers). But the primary realization for me has come from recognizing that there is such a lack of leadership across all segments of our communities.

Its so disheartening. I’m waiting for someone to make the right choice, speak to the people, offer some hope, be a beacon…LEAD. We a starved for good leadership. I know this is jarring for all of us, but these situations are meant to give us a pillar—okay so where are they? Seriously. Some of us are out here hungrily lapping up the Obama tweets so we can carry on. Where have all the good leaders gone? Am I missing something?

Even in my work I wait for management to offer some guidance; declare a stance, map it out and take us with you. But instead they fuel the uncertainty. Okay, I can do that by myself. I can swim in the unknown BY MYSELF. I don’t need my leaders to do that with me. One of the chickens need to have a head. FAKE IT if necessary. Don’t lie to your people but dry your sweat before you come talk to us, tell us it’s going to be okay and say it with your chest. We appoint these people to strategize us out of these catastrophes always with a hint of optimism, but these people are critically unfit. It feels like there is no one steering us, offering compassion, being honest, and truly leading. How did we get here?

Anyway, rant over. In the spirit of talking about things we can actually control, I want to offer a quick run down of what I’ve been doing while I stay at home.

READING

I was just complaining that its sad that I’ve seen all the great tv dramas, because now would be a good time to get lost in several seasons of a good show. But been there, done that. So I’ve been laying off the tv watching and reading  has been occupying a lot of my time.

For those interested in some good tv, some of my favorite dramas are: Mad Men (the fav), The Leftovers, Downton Abbey, The Crown, Breaking Bad, The Wire, Lost, The Sopranos, Weeds, Orange is the New Black, Game of Thrones, True Detective, Broadchurch, Fargo, Sons of Anarchy, Luther, The Affair, Narcos, Mayans…it’s a lot. Have fun!

QUALITY TIME WITH FAMILY

On Friday my husband and I argued over who ate the last of something. Its going great. Everything is fine.

LIMITING TIME ON SOCIAL MEDIA

Social distancing includes social media for me so I can prioritize my peace of mind and avoid the life draining nonsense that’s on there every day.

EXERCISE

I’ve been thinking about exercise.

WORK

My days still feel very much the same with regards to work, but I’ve been spending a lot more time on my other “work”—my writing. I haven’t had time for it for weeks and now I have tons of time and I won’t make excuses like I have been for everything else. I feel like something should come out of this free time and so far it’s been quite productive.

MY DIET

I don’t even know why I put this section in here.

ROUTINES

I try to wake up, do my bathroom routine—which is a whole elaborate 10 step face thing and 3 step teeth whitening thing, pray, have a shake, drink some water, journal, start working. And in the evenings I try to relax, read, wash and disinfect clothes, clean, do school work, and make dinner. Routines help me to maintain a sense of normalcy—and they’re going to be the reason we come out of this with some of our lives still intact.

Keep the faith all. I think about you all and hope you are safe during this time.

Much love.