A Rant I Guess

I’m trying to find out exactly what makes me disgusted with social media, people and the world at large.

This is a deep dive rant.

I am tired.

For years I have been trying to learn the all important lesson of giving people room. Room to disappoint, fail and be genuinely human. But all the room I’ve created can only fit my own sh*t in there. Maybe that’s how it’s suppose to be?

I don’t know.

Social media is such a continuous display of the peaks and pitfalls of mankind. And this may sound like an exaggeration but in my world it’s not.

How are we proclaiming black lives matter one day and start a week fresh with your skin care tutorial.

I needed a better transition fam.

I needed a better transition from covid to the travel posts again. What are we doing? Where is the social sobriety.

Y’all make me sick.

And what can you do. If you don’t post about blm when everybody else is doing it and then revert back to your “normal” content at the exact same time every one else is doing it then you will fall behind on whatever imaginary ladder we’re all climbing.

And you cannot afford to do that because your business will be affected, or the page you’ve worked so hard on will be affected. And at any rate, we have to get back to normalcy at some point right? We can’t just be angry forever. Right? But it’s still important so I’ll hashtag it in my bio. Good. Glad that’s taken care of.

We are kiddie pool shallow and it’s disgusting.

Or we’re just not grinding hard enough? A post I just saw this morning said if you’re not working hard every single day then whatever you’re doing is ‘just a hobby.’ My whole life is a hobby.

We are selfish, and self centered. We are so performative. What is actually wrong with us?

I hear y’all saying 2020 not canceled anymore. Says who? Because one person lit that match y’all running with it. Y’all spent six months canceling the sh*t and now the sh*t is back on. Oh okay.

Y’all needed 2020 to open your eyes? Ok, y’all still sleep though, relax.

I wonder what God mutters to Himself as He watches us. I imagine He mumbles “hmmphh” a lot like my mom does when she clearly disapproves but she doesn’t want to tell me how to live my life. Carry on.

Is strong leadership gone forever? Will there ever be another true revolutionary? We can’t even let the people doing the work day in and day out actually have an opportunity to do the work. We don’t help them. We criticize. We say well you don’t care enough about this if you only talk about that. So the movement is tainted, because it’s not perfect, encompassing and inclusive enough for every single person.

And if it’s flawed then everybody needs to let everybody know it’s flawed so that everybody can tell everybody else. We are good at this.

I start to like people and then they’re condemned. Deemed problematic, homophobic, corrupt. Stealing money and fondling women every chance they get. Were people always like this? Maybe in this new age your secrets come out way before you die. And so the frauds are exposed fast. People won’t protect anyone’s image anymore. If you aren’t a spotless lamb then you will be exposed. And they’re all frauds aren’t they?

Or what is the proper term for these people? People? I do not know. Someone get back to me on that.

But it feels like a circle of hopeless rants (like this one) about what is wrong. I don’t know how to move forward.

I am trying to care about absolutely everything and it’s exhausting. The minute I take a break from maybe one thing, say I stop worrying about the planet on Wednesday’s, then I see a post about how much work we have left to do to save the Earth and I feel guilty.

Then I have to start all over because I’m a bad advocate. I’m a bad advocate if I’m not advocating for it all. The responsibility has become more dire than my bills.

And if I’m not transparent about it then forget it. If everybody doesn’t know I care about it all then why care at all? I better post that sh*t.

And I have to like all the other posts too. That’s how I contribute. I’m so proud of myself.

But then I see the conspiracy posts after I like all the right things.

Covid isn’t real.

Police brutality is a media conspiracy.

Global warming isn’t real.

5G will kill us.

Black people aren’t real.

Oh my God. What if some of this is true! Which one is true?

Why am I always the only black person in a room? Maybe I’m not even there. Maybe I’m not even real!

Black people aren’t real.

That’s it.

I’m glad I figured it out for us.

Endlessly confused and exhausted. I still love us I guess.

Till next time if y’all want to come back.