There’s almost too much to say and not enough energy in me to produce the words to say it all.
Thank God we have made it to 2021. Thank God for every single day we get to have life.
It’s been tough for us all and I know some of you are already ready to hit the ground running into the new year.
Go on ahead.
I’ll catch up with y’all later.
I’m going to sit under the shade for a minute and catch my breath.
I am profoundly tired. I don’t remember being this tired in a very long time. My joints creak, my spine feels curved, and my soul is very weary.
Several months ago the stress I was enduring this year started to physically manifest in my body. Eventually stress will do that to you. I gained so much weight and my face started to get cystic pimples.
I am just beginning to emerge from that dark place. I’m only half as ugly now than I was in October. Nothing is more important to me than to heal my body and mind from what it has endured.
But y’all are ready aren’t you?
I hate that we live in a non stop, goal oriented hustle culture.
Y’all ain’t tired? How are y’all not tired? Y’all can’t set the resolutions in May or something? Take a shower first and wash 2020 off? Damn.
We don’t pay attention to ourselves or each other. And when we try to create ways to cope—through wellness, artistry, creativity etc.—within no time it becomes commodified and destructive. Do you remember when Yoga use to be this fun, restorative wellness practice before it became a huge branch of the billion dollar fitness industry? Yeah.
What 2020 has shown me is that there’s no actual peace that comes from the world.
I get fulfillment from what I contribute to the spaces I occupy; using my talent to create meaning; using my gifts with purpose; being the best daughter, sister, friend and wife I can be; and being my whole self.
That’s all. That’s it. Things I can do on the inside for my insides.
That’s the year. Those are the goals.